The room matters more than the menu
A private room turns dinner into an event. Book Private Dining, share the headcount and mention the cake.
Flowers, a printed menu card and a candle on dessert cost little and photograph beautifully.
Order of operations
Starters for grazing while latecomers arrive, a shared main so nobody waits, dessert with the candles. Tell the kitchen the schedule — they'll pace it.
For home birthdays, order the same menu for delivery and spend the savings on a bigger cake.